I was first turned onto boudoir photography when I stumbled upon a TEDx talk by Jen Rozenbaum. She explained that she did boudoir because she realized that by doing it she was healing women and they were healing her. Something about this statement really resonated with me. At the time I had no idea how much healing I really needed to do, but I knew that I wanted to be someone who heals women. No matter what their lives looked like up until the time they worked with me, I wanted to be someone to make them forget their troubles for the day and to maybe even be the one to help facilitate making those voices inside themselves that say they’re not good enough to be quieted forever.
That summer I decided that I would specialize in boudoir photography and signed up for a course to learn how to market it online. I dragged my feet through completing this course that was intended to take about a week to complete, but it ended up taking me 5 months to complete. I beat myself up over why I wasn’t able to get the work done, but realized that it was because I had some serious healing to do myself first. I could not be a role model to other women until I had personally done the work to clean up how I felt about myself and to embrace my past wounds too.
I hired a mentor to help me through this process who also happened to be a spiritual healer. On our first phone call she asked me if it would be ok to go into my energy and to look back at my past to see what I needed to heal and to better understand what I was carrying. I agreed and what she revealed shocked and stunned me, but was something that I had nightmares about for most of my life. So when she told me, I knew that it was true. She told me that I had been inappropriately touched as a child and that many of my ancestors had been through this same pain. She had me talk to the originating ancestor of this cycle of abuse in my family and the woman who stepped forward revealed herself as Catherine. She told me what she had been through and how sad and angry she was still. She said that many of the women in my family had been through this too, but that I could be the one to stop this cycle. I came out of the hypnosis shocked by what had just been revealed to me and feeling a sense of responsibility to clear this karma during my lifetime.
Through a number of meditations, affirmations, acupuncture treatments, and therapy appointments I slowly began to heal the wounds from my past. I retreated and went within to my guides to ask for guidance who reassuringly told me that I needed to continue to do this work to heal myself because I was going to be a teacher to others who needed this healing too.
As part of my healing I decided that I would do my own boudoir shoot. I no longer want to hide my body or who I am, which is why I repeat the mantra, “It’s safe to be seen,” on a daily basis now.
Because I know that so many women have stories similar to mine or who need more to make them feel worthy of doing a boudoir shoot themselves, I also offer empowerment coaching that you can read more about here.
Because doing a boudoir shoot can be a vulnerable experience and one that you have a lot of self-doubts around, I prefer to meet all of my clients in person before their session so that we can talk through any fears or doubts you may have. It’s also a good opportunity to get to know each other better so you feel more comfortable with me the day of your shoot. If you know this is something that you are interested in learning more about because you are on a similar journey or just want to step outside of your day to day and have a whole lot of fun together, you can schedule your free consultation here.